User:Leigh

Weird Crap

<a href="http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl?subject=Lee&gender=m" style="color:#000;background-color:#DFDFa5">Ten Top Trivia Tips about Lee!</a>

1. Lee was banned from Finland because of not wearing pants.
2. More people are killed by Lee each year than die in aeroplane accidents.
3. Ostriches stick their heads in Lee not to hide but to look for water!
4. Lee will always turn right when leaving a cave.
5. Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by Lee!
6. Lee is the world's smallest mammal.
7. Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are Lee.
8. During World War II, Americans tried to train Lee to drop bombs!
9. If you drop Lee from more than three metres above ground level, he will always land feet-first!
10. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Lee!

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<a href="http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl?subject=Dale&gender=m" style="color:#000;background-color:#DFDFa5">Ten Top Trivia Tips about Dale!</a>

1. The pupil of an octopus's eye is shaped like Dale.
2. The opposite sides of Dale always add up to seven.
3. The water in oceans is four times less salty than the water in Dale.
4. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Dale.
5. Over half of Americans are officially Dale!
6. People used to believe that dressing their male children as Dale would protect them from evil spirits.
7. Dale can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee.
8. Dale cannot be detected by infrared cameras!
9. US gold coins used to say 'In Dale we trust'.
10. Over 2000 people have now climbed Dale, with roughly ten percent dying on the way down.

<form action="http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl" method="get" style="background-color:#5F5F42;color:#CFCF95;padding:4px;text-align:center">I am interested in <input name="subject" type="text"> - do tell me about<select name="gender"><option value="f">her</option><option value="m">him</option><option value="n">it</option><option value="p">them</option></select><input value="Go" type="submit"></form>

First Anniversary

ICON Heaven

Food Icon: Lee is one of those annoying people who eat to live and not the other way around... He has a somewhat unconventional palette, being a spacer. He can eat unflavoured synethetics without a flinch, but has a balking reaction to richnesses such as whole milk and animal fats. Now that he's mainly a dirtsider, raw, natural tastes and textures dominate his typical meal, which makes the herbal tea right up his alley. That change in diet in combination with the somehow perpetual stress of his existence has noticeably reduced his body mass from its ideal weight - but not yet to the extent that his clothes don't fit well still. Funny how Dale Lambsey continues to bulk out with broad musculature at the same time, as though the two of them are conducting a subconscious and inverse balancing act. Just another of those odd dynamics.

Evidence Icon: Assuming the container is signed for (and retinal scanned) and allowed to be emptied into EI's possession, the contents are: 1 hot pink thong underwear, used. Stitched on the front is the letter M. Marc, you are a surprising fellow. Also, 1 condom, used. Both items have been separated and wrapped in what looks like pieces of a plastic shower curtain. Which means Lee is a frickin' CSI Guru.

Spin Cycle Icon: Oh, Lee's probably zoned himself out on the front-loading washer again in the sublevel facilities, like he does occasionally in the Clinic break room. Some folks might find the boy's ability to self-hypnotize practically at will somewhat disturbing, not trusting what he could be doing in the warehouses of his mind, while looking so innocent on the outside. Fortunately he doesn't do it very often at all in well-trafficked public areas. Dale's probably the only person who's seen it happen more than three times. And it's probably how Lee was able to understand that Dale had fallen into a helpless trance earlier. Unlike the man however, the boy could voluntarily draw out of his state without much disorientation.

Pants Check Icon: You paged Dale and Mingo with 'It's just something that tends to happen during TPs. TP = Traditional Pantsing.' As much as Lee appreciates the idea of being pantsless with two cute chicks being sensitive and nice and not too snickery to him, he can't quite summon up the smirk that would alleviate the mortification of the moment. One arm for Akila, and one for Kathryn, and heave ho - Lee is upright again, with a subdued thanks. "This is why trousers can never be too tight," he finally remarks, remembering the mission, and peering into the gloom of the main room. "What's out there?" Please let a man be staying in this room. Please let there be pants in the wardrobe. Please, for the love of God, if it has to be a dress, please let it not be a Girl Scout Uniform!

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