Not a Hallucination
It's late morning, and Riley shuffles into the common area heading straight for the coffee. When he gets to the pot, he's greeted with a thick black sludge. Someone left it on from this morning and it's pretty much cooked to the carafe. The pilot curses in frustration as he scrubs the pot. He's not allowed to drink until he gets the all clear from the Doctors, so the extra work for a cup of coffee just adds insult to injury. Between the dull throbbing in his recently stitched leg, the withdrawals from being dry for 24 hours and the fight with the coffee maker, he's in a foul mood. <English>
Which of course just when you want to see your errant spouse; when you're already itching to swear at someone or something. Kit looks fresh from the shower, her long hair is still damp from it. She stands in her barefeet watching him for a moment then wordlessly walks over and holds her hands out as if to take over for him so he can sit down and rest. <English>
Riley is so engrossed in his furious scrubbing that he doesn't see verses tallest woman approach him. When a pair of feminine hands enters is field of vision, he's startled to say the least. He drops the pot in the sink, and it lucky enough not to break it. "GORRAMMIT Tah-shr SUO-yo DEE-yure duh biao-tze duh MAH! I swear I'm gonna..." he shouts as he wheels around. The shock he just had is nothing compared to unexpectedly seeing Kitrina again for the first time after 15 years. His jaw nearly hits the floor as he looks on a woman he's tried to forget for a VERY long time. She can't actually be here. This isn't possible. The doc must have given him some bad medicine. Or maybe the anti-venom didn't take...yeah that's it.'Shit I need a drink' is all he can think as his mind reels. "DOCTOOOOOOR!" he's certain he's losing it. He's probably dying. He's too young to die...too pretty to die. <English>
Well that's not the reaction she expected. Kit looks at Riley, or more specifically looks down at Riley and just smirks. It's all amusing until he starts calling for a doctor and then with obvious concern she asks, "Are you okay, Ri?" She doesn't ask just grabs his shoulders and tries to manouver him to a chair. "You're not going to pass out again are you? Because if they haven't got that venom out of you know there is no way I'm sucking it out. Nice beard by the way." <English>
His eyes are wild. Riley looks frantically around for ANYone else. "You can't be here. I'm hallucinating. This isn't real." he mutters as he's guided to the chair. "I've finally lost it. Fuuuuuck I need a drink. DOCTOOOOR." He pinches his arm a few time. When that doesn't work he slaps his stitches hard and howls in pain. She's still there. "Are you dead? Are you haunting me? What did I do to deserve this? I only ever loved you...Am I dead? That's it. I died. The snake was poisonous, and I died. This must be hell. I'm being tortured by old regrets." he's a complete wreck. <English>
Kit watches Riley and the with a shrug slaps him on the face. Not too hard, just hard enough to try and get him to not be hysterical. Her first aid training clearly was from the medical school equivalent of if your computer doesn't do what you like switch it off at the wall and turn it back on again. "Stop it," she says to him. "I'm real you dolt. And you're not dead." Her hands go to her hips and she glares down at him, "And why would I be in hell? I've never done...er...okay one time I did something bad. One time and it's fucking followed me across the verse." <English>
Riley is indignant. Whether he's coming to grips with reality, or just in a fighting mood he's taken that 'one thing' to mean him, and he's not standing for it.Wether she's real or not he's fighting with her. "Who followed who across the verse?! I haven't heard so much as a peep about you in FIFTEEN GORRAM YEARS, and you show up on my ship say I'M following YOU?" <English>
Esther steps into the commons, humming a tune to herself. Though, she stops, looking to Kit and Riley. When voices are raised, she simply hangs back and observes for now. <English>
"I didn't say YOU were following me. I said it, well technically," Kit doesn't likely do herself any favours with her haughty tone and the way she crosses her arms and looks down at Riley, "I said I did something bad. Do you want me to apologise? I'll say I'm sorry but I know that isn't going to be enough and I didn't know you were here. AND echnically it's Esther's ship." She stomps, barefoot, over towards the coffee pot. Kit moves to push up the sleeves of her shirt then stops herself and quickly tugs them back down again before she starts scrubbing furiously at the pot. <English>
Riley seeths for a moment before taking a few deep breaths to compose himself. There are so many emotions and thoughts going through his head he doesn't even know what to say or do. He can't bring himself to look at her though. Not yet. "What are you doing here?" he says quietly with all the forced composure he can muster. He's yet to notice his Captain in the room. <English>
Esther debates. She knows that the two need to work this all out. But, she can't just sit here and eavesdrop. That's just creepy even if she is the Captain. Quietly she aproaches the couple in the galley. A hand is placed on Riley's shoulder and Esther answers, "I hired her as an engineer. She is now crew." Her hand slides from Riley's shoulder as she casually makes way for the fridge, pulling it open and rummaging around. <English>
Kit stills hearing the voice, she too had failed to notice Esther's arrival. The pot gets rinsed and refilled with water. She just can't bring herself to say anything for the seemingly long, endless minutes it takes to finish washing the coffee pot, rinse it out, refill it and get it started percolating again. Only when she has nothing left to do with her hands does she turn around and look back at Riley. "My old captain retired. He recommended me to Esther and she kindly gave me a job. I didn't know you were here, Riley. But even if I had I wouldn't have stayed away. I need the job." <English>
Riley just sighs heavily and flops down into the chair she led him to a moment before. So she's on the crew now. Theres no forgetting now. That old familiar pain is back again, and all he wants to do is ask her why? How?. "So your an engineer now?" he asks his 'wife' with his eyes glued on the deck plating beneath his feet. <English>
Esther fishes out a bottle of Blue Sun Cola. She stands back up and pops the cap, listening to the soft fizz for a moment. Her dark gaze turns back and forth between the pair. "I'll leave you two to work things out." She says quietly. Then, she turns to head out. "If you need me, I will be doing some work on the dojo." <English>
Kit rubs one of her arms with the opposite hand. "What do you mean by now? It's what I've been doing for the past ten years." Not that he could know that. She looks at Esther and nods. Wait, dojo? How did she miss that on the ship tour? She looks briefly confused. <English>
...and he's off again. "And how the hell would I know that?!" Riley's head snaps up as he finally looks at Kit again. There is rage on his face "The last time I saw you, you...you..." He can't bring himself to say anything more on that, but his eyes are all fire and lightning. <English> Esther pauses by the door and looks back. It is sort of a maternal look and she has to stop herself from getting involved. It's not that she is a bystander from some reality show, but.. A sigh is taken before she just turns to head out. <English>
As the coffee percolates beside her Kit watches Riley. It's still a shock to see him and she can't say she doesn't like looking at him even if he is fit to be tied at present. "I never meant to hurt you Riley. I was stupid and scared and naive. I thought you would turn into my father and that...like I said I was stupid, scared and naive." <English>
Riley doesn't know what to say... Which is rare, and usually to be cherished. He sits in silence a long while. He's angry, but it's really nice to see her again. She's aged a bit, and it's plain to see she hasn't had an easy life, but she's still stunning. There's guilt there too. They ARE still married. He's even kept the ring...with the condom in his wallet. He never even tried to be faithful to her, but he couldn't bring himself to part with it. He's starting to calm down a little, and forces a half-hearted smile. Now that the coffees done he gets up and heads to the pot in silence. When he gets there he looks up at Kit, and sees a bit of pain in her eyes. He wants to kiss her. He wants to smack her. He doesn't know what the hell he wants, so he pours some coffee instead. <English>
"I didn't know what people knew. I didn't want to say something and upset your life here." Kit reaches out as if she were going to touch him but instead steps back and shoves her hands deep into her pockets causing her shoulders to hunch forward. "Does Esther - did she know about me? She gave me this look last night...like she knew who I was even though I didn't say." <English>
Riley stares into the dark abyss of his black coffee as he replies "I never gave her a name, but she knows my story. She's smart. I'm sure she's put it together...If she hadn't she certainly knows now." <English>
She doesn't know what to say or do and finds herself trying to laugh, but it comes out as an awkward sound. "Is there some sort of self-help vid for this? Maybe a book? I...I don't know what to do Ri." Kit closes her eyes and draws in a deep breath. "I used to dream about you and that crop duster. I never thought you'd leave Boros. Never thought I would see you again." Her eyelashes lift and she asks, "What happened to my family? Are they still there? I wanted to go back after I got free but I was too broken." The words rush out of her before she really thinks and it is only after they have been said that Kit frowns at herself. <English>
"Not rightly sure...I've avoided Boros like reavers. I drop my folks a wave every now and again, but..." Riley takes a long drag of coffee and looks into those bright blue eyes that have haunted him for years. "It's too late for dreams sweet heart. You disappeared. Never even left a note. I woke up to an empty bed and I've been trying to fill it ever since. I'm not the same man...your not the same woman. Please don't pretend we can just pick up like nothing happened." <English>
Kit's temper is quick to return then, "Don't go assuming you know what I want Riley," she growls out. "As you just pointed out we're not the same people and you don't know a damn thing about me and I don't know a damn thing about you." She drags a hand through her still damp hair. As a thought occurs to her those blue eyes widen, "Riley," she begins by drawing out his name, "are we...did you...I mean...you surely divorced me, right?" She did walk out on him the day after their wedding. <English>
Riley just turns away. He couldn't do it. Not at first. He had hoped to find her again....for a while anyways. After that? Who knows. He just...didn't. The pilot sets down his coffee, pulls his wallet out of his back pocket. Rummaging through it, he produces a gold ring which he promptly sets on the counter in front of them. He just stairs at it. <English>
She reaches out with a shaking hand and picks up the ring. It feels much heavier than it actually is, more like a weight pressing against her chest, pushing down on her shoulders too. The tip of Kit's tongue darts out across her lips in a nervous gesture. "I don't know what happened to mine. They drugged me and when I woke up it was gone." Carefully, as if it might somehow break, she sets the gold ring back on the counter. <English>
Riley picks the ring back up and gently drops it in his wallet, and puts it away. He takes her still trembling hand and looks back into her eyes. "In front of God and our families, I promised to take care of you. You made me break that promise, but I couldn't just throw it away. I didn't know what the hell to do....I never divorced you." His glance shifts down in shame as he continues. "I haven't been a very good man since you left, and I've got no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do now. I don't know if we'll ever get over this, but we're stuck together now and we've got to make the best of it." <English>
Kit swallows thickly and whispers a bit hoarsely, "I'm not sure I believe in God anymore, Ri." She takes a deep breath and gently squeezes his hand. "I don't know what to do here. I'm damaged goods, O'Hare. Defective like a buzzer that won't ring or a...," she gestures to the coffee pot with her other hand, "coffee pot that's been left empty on the burner for too long." <English>
Riley chuckles a little at the coffee pot analogy. It goes a long way to lightening the mood. "I didn't think I did anymore either, but cosmic coincidence can't explain whats going on right now. I may not care much for him, but there's gotta be somebody pulling the strings...Like some divine brat-child who likes to break his toys." He can see the pain in her eyes. She's been through hell. He doesn't know what kind, but he instinctively wants to comfort her. He realizes now that he's still holding her hand and, as he's spoken, he's gotten close enough to feel her breath on his face. He's frightened by the sudden strong urge to kiss her. He immediately steps back, and drops her hand. "Whatever happened to you...I'm sorry. I should have found you. Kept you safe. I was a child. I was selfish. Hell I still am." <English>
"Don't do that, Riley," says Kit with a shake of her head. "Don't blame yourself for what happened to me. I was a sheltered fool who learned to be smarter." She reaches out and ruffles his hair, it's a familiar gesture even if it has been a long time - nearly a lifetime - since she last did it. "We both grew up, Ri. Life's full of hard knocks, right?" Kit smiles wanly and then says with a laugh, "You know the real bitch of it? I wouldn't even be able to get drunk over this." <English>
Riley swats her hand away from his head, he does it playfully, but he always hated it when she would treat him like a child. He laughs sardonically at the mention of getting drunk. "The real Bitch is that I can't either....damn doctors." then something about her comment dawns on him. "Wait...your not." he looks at her belly. "Are you?" he takes a step back "I mean I know you've been with other people. Girl with your looks, you've probably got someone. I don't mean to be outta line. It's just I never really thought about..." <English>
She's busy getting herself a cup of coffee and almost misses the point - or rather the gist of the question Riley is asking her. Kit gapes. "What?!" Her head shakes vehemently, "No. I'm not pregnant." She looks around and sets the coffee down then pulls back one of her sleeves to reveal old faded scars on the inside of her elbow. "I suppose someone should know, just in case I need the doc. They used to drug us. I don't drink much because it takes a lot to get me drunk and I hate that feeling." She pulls her sleeve back down. "I hate not being in control of my body." <English>
Riley sighs heavily in relief. "That's a relief...I mean...Not a relief that they drugged you. A relief that your not pregnant...I mean, not that that would be a bad thing if that's what you wanted. I just.." he gives up and drinks his coffee in embarrassed silence. "Were you ever?...did we? am I a?..." he asks after a minute unable to actually say the words. <English>
"No," she says quietly. "It wouldn't have been the kind of place you'd want a child to be. It was a blessing really." Kit picks up her own coffee and takes a sip. "I heard you're a bit of a womaniser," she says in that same soft, quiet tone. <English>
"I wouldn't say that...." Riley looks hurt; either by the accusation or the guilt in it's truth. "It's true enough that I don't much care for an empty bed though. I'm sorry if that bothers you. " he's not really comfortable talking with her about his conquests, so he turns the subject back around to what he's been wondering for a while "What kind of place were you in? What exactly happened to you back then anyways?" <English>
Aww man, now she's gone and done it. That hurt look is like a kick to the gut. "I wasn't judging, Riley. It's been a long time." She sips her coffee and then suddenly doesn't want it anymore. Kit doesn't want to waste it however, so just holds the cup in her hands. "I was supposed to go check in with the viking this morning. I should do that." She moves towards the door and then stops to look back at him, "For what it's worth Riley, I am sorry I ever hurt you. I am not that girl anymore. Maybe we can try and be friends?" <English>
Riley noticed her dodge his question, but chooses not to push it. Something bad happened. That's enough for now. "People hurt each other all the time. It's what we do. Don't worry about it. As for friends, I'm not sure how easy it'll be, but I'd like to think we're both mature enough now to pull it off. I'd like that." The pilot finishes his coffee as she leaves, but catches her before she's out the door "Trina...You look good...It's nice to see you again....I'm. I'm glad you're here." <English>
