Marcus/autobio

I was born on Shadow.. was pretty much just like y'see on the holos. Big family, little farmhouse, lotta pigs. Be a lie to say I was ever much of a farmer, never took much to all the plantin' an harvestin'. Not much head for the business end o' things, neither. Not that it much mattered, was always clear 'at all 'at was gonna be for my older sister, Emily t'handle. An' she was plenty good at it, had a good head on'er an' a green thumb. Time I left she was nineteen an' just married t'this fella she'd been seein since we was kids. Now, I wasn't completely useless.. was a fair hand with th'animals, and didn't mind hard work, neither. Time I was seventeen I was figurin' on leavin' to look f'r ridin' fences on one o' the bigger ranches. At the time, kept sayin' that I was just waitin' till the youngest weren't such hellions an' could take my place helpin' out 'roudn the farm. O' course, was makin' noises 'bout marryin' my sweetheart 'fore I went, mostly t'pacify 'er ol'man.

Wasn't true, though. Was really just stayin' 'cause I knew I couldn't leave Sarah. She was the third youngest, about.. thirteen, fourteen then. Little hellraiser, and fuckin' clever little brat. Always gettin' inta some kinda trouble.. Much trouble as a kid that age can get inta on a farm, anyhow. She just never seemed t'get 'long with nobody else, an' I didn't much like the idea o' her growin' up without nobody could make her listen when she needed t'listen.

Anyhow. Didn't work out that way. 'bout that time the war came. I don't gotta tell ya why farm boys like me signed up, been a million folks written 'bout it. Folks were real fired up at the idea o' rich fucks from coreside tellin' us how we was gonna live, after all we'd been through t'build what we had, carvin' out our little chunks o' the 'verse. I was at that age a fella whats to show he's a man, gets caught up easy in that sorta feelin'. Was a little worried 'bout Emily handlin' the farm when her husband signed up too, but the folks weren't that old, could still do just fine. My girl, she kissed me real sweet, gave me a locket with a pinch o' dirt, said it was so I wouldn't forget her or home while I was roamin' the big ol' verse. Funny thing is, can't remember much else 'bout her now.. Figure that dirt's 'bout all that's left o' Shadow that ain't irradiated now, though. Sara was the only one didn't come see me off. That hurt some, but figured that maybe when she was a little older, she'd understand.. Guess I ain't ever gonna know if she forgave me.

They shipped us off to a nice new base, organized us inta regiments, brigades, platoons. Every rimworld had them bases croppin' up at the spaceport towns.. makeshift trainin' camps, to turn us farmbos inta soldiers. Now here's the thing y'wouldn't figure.. I was good at it. Real fuckin' good. Now, there hadn't really been no big wars, as such, but there'd been fightin' ever since folks started pushin' out the rim. Anyplace the law ain't strong, there's folks who look t'take from those cant' stop'em. Before the war, some o' those raiders 'ad gotten pretty big, pretty organized. They knew the 'liance was comin' for them, too, lot of'em ended up volunteerin' now. Between them, an' the militias we'd raised t'fight'em, we had our share o' folks knew 'bout fightin'.

'tween the militias an' the pirates, somebody got the bright idea that they could take some o' them old fucks, pick a few o' the better recruits.. such as m'self.. an' make some smaller outfits for tougher work. Boardin' ships, recon, sabotage, that kinda thing. Sneaky shit, ugly shit, mostly. Pretty much what the 'lliance called special forces, but on Shadow we just called'em Irregulars.

An' 'at's how I grew up, I guess. On transports, in jungles an' deserts with some o' the hardest, dirtiest ol' fucks y'ever met passin' for family. Sounds like a fuckin' sob story, I know, but I ain't gonna lie.. I ruttin' loved it. We were gorram good at what we did, an' it felt good. Felt like God isself couldn't stop us when we were rollin'. We was a diff'rent breed. Even when we were fightin' 'longside normal infantry, they used t'keep their distance from us. That kinda feelin', it's like a fuckin' drug.

When the Purples decided they'd make an' example o' Shadow, we was on Santo organizin' some locals inta proper Guerilla outfits. We got the news there.. saw the video 'at was goin' round. Watched that pretty green an' blue ball turn sickly green an' grey. Watched the clouds burn off in the'nuclear fires. Was awful quiet that night.. even the locals in the village, they didn't have a word t'say to us. Just kept their distance. Ain't like we was doin' nothin'.. just wasn't nobody talkin'. Reckon we all felt pretty much the'same, so weren't no need. Funny thing, y'go off t'war thinkin' your gonna protect the folks back home. Sacrifice for'em. Then, y'hear that while you're doin' just fine drinkin' tequila and itchin' for a fight, your folks are back home hunkered in a storm cellar, knowin' it ain't gonna do shit to save'em from the gas, the toxin's or the nukes, prayin' that it ain't gonna take long t'die.

War don't give ya much chance to breathe. Next day, we was back to business. Was like 'nothin' happened, 'cept maybe quieter. Figure it was three days later when we took that half-assed Santo militia on their first real raid, t'hit a supply depot, take what weapons they could get. Thing about it is, bein' a 'backwater' postin', some o' the 'liance officers there had family on the post. The folks from Santo, they weren't sure what t'do with the kids an' husbands an' wives they found in that bunker once the real fightin' was done. They brought'em out, brought'em to us... 's funny. Y'd think it woulda been one o' them old pirates who made the call. Wasn't. Was Jimmy Case. Red headed kid, year or two younger'n me. He started with the kids, slittin' the first throat without a word 'bout it. 'course, th'adults an' the older ones tried to stop'im, but they never had a chance. We didn't use guns, just knives an' bare hands. Some o' the guys, even once they was dead, didn't stop. Just kept cuttin', bashin'.. Them folks from Santo, even the ones we'd brought in from the street gangs, they didn't stick 'round to watch. All o' us did, though.

Still, nobody said nothin'. We all just understood, I reckon. Things were different after that.. Weren't no more rules. Passenger liners, hospital ships, nothin' was off limits no more. We didn't just hit the transports leavin' the farm colonies no more, we burned the farms and killed the farmers. Sometimes, killin'em wasn't enough. THings were done looked more like it was Reavers'n men done'em.

Guess we thought after the day we heard 'bout Shadow, wouldn't be nothin' worse. Found out we were wrong, when we got word 'bout the surrender. We'd been pulled outta our normal assignments, were gettin' ready t'board a transport for Serenity Valley. When we heard we was supposed t'turn in our guns, we did what a lotta folk did... Shot the fucker who tried to take'em. We boarded up the Dragonfly waitin' for us, an' told the flight crew they could come or go.. But they were gonna have to stand by either decision. We hadn't signed no surrender.. weren't bound by it, we figured.

There were others like us, plenty of'em. We linked up with some others, called 'emselves Dust Devils. Gave it a good go, too, but the 'liance could take 'eir time now, hunt us down. Few years later the whole thing'd pretty much fallen to shit. By then, most o' my crew was dead, an' the ship was long gone. I'd been smart 'nough t'see the worst comin', went t'ground 'fore the heat got too rough. NExt few years, I connected with what was left o' the Devils here an' there, otherwise did whatever work I could get where I could get it. What we was doin' for the resistance got more an' more desperate, and was makin' less and less of a dent. Feds called us terrorists.. And I guess that fit, but weren't hardly nobody terrorized.

Some time 'round then, a name kept comin' up. Crazy fella goin' by Frost, leadin' a group o' pirates. Playin' the whole thing t'the hilt, too, like somethin' outta the holos. But folks were takin' 'im seriously. All sortsa rough folks joinin' up. 'liance took him seriously, too. On Ezra, had their biggest fight since the war with him an' his folks. They won, but it cost'em somethin' to do it.

So I found'em on Paquin, joined up first chance I got. Knew most o' the folks in that outfit were just lookin' to make a name or a fortune, but I figured it was the last chance I was gonna get t'give the 'liance a bloody nose. Saw from the start that the whole mess was kinda fallin' t'pieces just then, but some of'em had potential. Knew early on I'd be one o' them on top o' the food chain there, but the chain o' command was gonna need some adjustin' to make that work.
An' that's when I met Kennedy Sinclair. Could tell from the start she didn't fit.. was one o' the "Royal Corsairs, bodyguards to Frost an' his wife. Seemed like she was in over her head.. her commander was alternatin' between screwin' her an' usin' her for a punchin' bag at the time. Noticed pretty quick she didn't shoot t'kill in a gunfight. Little diggin', and I started figurin' out who she really was, though. Daughter of a Baron from Londinium, black sheep o' the family. Spoiled brat from the core gone out t'slum it and gettin' in over her head. Only question was why she wasn't already dead, or worse.
Didn't take long for that answer, though. Kenni turned out t'be a hell of a lot more'n she seemed. She was tough, she was smart, and she was stronger'n I think she knew. She just needed a little help sortin' out the details, an' she was gonna be somethin'. Figured, I could help her sort'em out. An' I loved, it too.. Takin' that pretty little daddy's girl, turnin' her 'gainst everything she shoulda loved. Takin' one o' what should o' been the core's very best, teachin' her how t'destroy what she shoulda been protectin'. Fuck if I figured how that'd turn out, though.

Kenni grew up fast. And a woman like that.. bein' that close to'er, of course I fell in love. I'd wanted her t'be a weapon when we started out. Deadly, but just a ruttin' tool. Realized pretty quick, though, that I wasn't lookin' t'teach'er just t'ruin daddy's world, I was hopin' she was learnin' t'live in a mean fuckin' 'verse, be what nobody seemed to o' told her she could, an' put t'gether a life an' even an empire outta the shit we were in the middle of. Think I first started figurin' out I was done th'first time I moved 'tween her and some fucker shootin' at her when we was boardin' some ship. Had been 'long tme since I'd put anybody else's life 'fore mine.

I wasn't surprised when they made us both captains, essentially put us at the top o' the food chain. Was a dangerous fuckin' place to be, though. Truthfully, was tougher'n I ever thought I'd have t'deal with.. But I didn't dare let nobody know that. NEver even told her that I didn't think I could handle it without 'er. Lucky I never had to, 'least not for long..