01. The Houdini
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Message: 4/8 Posted Author Ferret Report: The Houdini Jul 08 2014 Someone on the street
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A viral video spreads like wildfire across the cortex of an animated sable ferret in a Hawaiian shirt and wrap-around shades. A pair of palm trees can be seen off to the side of the screen with a cooler in the shade and a hammock strung between them. The ferret walks out on the screen to the tune of up-beat music, waving to his 'fans' before he holds up his paws and silences the music.
"Hey folks!" the ferret says in a lovably squeaky voice, always wearing a big smile. "My name's Duke and I'm here to tell you about the latest news on that old 'treasure ship' called the Harry Houdini. As all of you probably know, this century-old Hercules Class Transport pretty much up and vanished some time ago and it was rumored to carry one hell of a treasure." He waves a paw and an image of an ancient looking Hercules Class Transport appears in the corner of the screen. "Well, it's been found! But it wasn't packed with gold or jewels, no fine china or soft silk. Nope, the only treasure was an old, beat up computer that in this moment in time? Well, it'd be discarded as a piece of shit.. But keep in mind folks, this ships over a hundred years old, that computer back then? Well, it could have made the 'verse a whole lot better for a lot of people. It's a part of our history! So, our dear old friends in the Alliance have agreed to put the ship and the computer on display in one lucky museum's history section, along with a wall listing the names and in the case of the marines aboard that vessel, the ranks of the poor souls who died trying to make a difference." he waves a paw and the image of the ship turns into a ticker, listing off the names and ranks of everyone who served aboard the Harry Houdini at the time of it's disappearance. "Ain't that nice of them? Anyhow, now we have to get on to the sad news, folks. A lot of people died out in the black because of this ship, some at the hands of reavers, some to cut throat mercenaries and a lot of the people who lost their lives didn't have to. Thats right boys and girls, a lot of bloodshed recently could have actually been avoided if people had only stopped and thought about how dangerous it was to go looking for this fabled ship. So hopefully the next time you people hear about some fantastic treasure out there in the black, you'll take a moment to remember that sometimes, it just isn't worth the risk. Some things should just be left to the professionals kids." With that, the animated ferret hops into a hammock nearby and gives a wave. "Anyhow, thats it for this episode of the Ferret Report. I hope you enjoyed the show. Bye now!" Then he picks up a coconut cup out of the cooler and starts drinking as the screen slowly fades to black.
While the video spreads fast as could be, it's origins seem to be up for debate as so far, no ones been able to correctly trace the terminal used to upload it.
